|   10 Commandments of NH Riding | Johnny Sea
Sep 10, 2001 12:43 PM | | Hell it looked like so much fun I'd try one too :->
1. Respect our trails by picking up your cigarette butts after you take a break.
2. Buy real cheap equipment so you won't mind painting it blaze orange in November.
3. You can wear lycra if you want but the deerflies bite right through it.
4. It's not really a shuttle vehicle unless it has a "Charlton Heston Is My President" bumper sticker on it.
5. Foster good relationships with other trail users by telling the hunters where you find the most deer or moose (in season) sign.
6. The fake antlers on your Giro may look amusing at a party but it's just not a good idea round these parts...
7. Why drink Red Bull if they stock Red Stripe ?
8. Firing a blank gun in the air will scare hikers off the trail so you can bomb down it unencumbered.
9. Don't make cheater lines. If ya cain't bunny hop that old Chevy jest git off yer bike and walk it dammit.
10. Live Free or Die, state slogan or cool trail name ?
ah well it's Monday and I'm injured...
jc |
| My Mom says ... | North Shore Posse
Sep 10, 2001 12:49 PM | | you're not *EVER* allowed in the Volvo next time she's shuttling us up the mountain. Not funny!!! BWWWAAAAA!!! |
| STOLEN POST ALERT: 10 Commandments of MIDWEST Riding | Ken in KC
Sep 10, 2001 1:17 PM | | A few changes for the Midwest, though:
#1. Add: "pick up bottle caps from the Schaeffer's"
#3. Replace "deeflies" with "horseflies"
#5. Replace "moose" with "turkey"
#7. Add "YEEEHAW!" after "Stripe?"
#9. Replace "Chevy" with "washing machine"
#10. Show Me, state slogan or line from Deliverance? |
| Jumping on the Bandwagon... | Twilight Error®
Sep 10, 2001 3:55 PM | | Riding in Connecticut: 10 helpful suggestions.
1. Don't leave your heroin needles on the trail. Also, if you're not a Greenwich resident, STAY OFF THEIR TRAILS.
2. Ride what you own, but be prepared to get laughed at no matter what it is.
3. EEE and WNE infected mosquitoes have no problem going through lycra. Remember, Lyme disease is named for a town in Ct...
4. There isn't a hill high enough to need a shuttle vehicle, so don't bother.
5. Don't ride in the woods on Saturdays during hunting season if you don't want to get shot. Don't ride on Sundays in hunting season if you don't want to be shot and left for dead.
6. Anything less aerodynamic than a wind tunnel tested TT helmet is going to snag every low hanging branch and vine.
7. Why touch Red Stripe when the Guinness import company is in Stamford?
8. Firing a gun anywhere will attract the attention of every cop in the state. If you're in Stonington, you can shoot a man behind the police station and get away.
9. You can cut new trails all you want. The locals have permission to club you into a whimpering mess if they catch you.
10. HAVE FUN! (Unless you're a non-Greenwich resident riding their singletrack, in which case GET THE FOK OUT!).
TE |
| What's with Greenwich? | Chef
Sep 10, 2001 4:46 PM | | Is there a secret handshake or something, or do the $3,000,000 home-owners have problems?
T |
| You haven't heard about that? | Twilight Error®
Sep 10, 2001 5:11 PM | | The residents of Greenwich tried banning non residents from being on the beaches. It would be like New York letting only Manhattan residents in Central Park. |
| 10 Commandments of NJ Riding | Wit-Man
Sep 11, 2001 5:08 AM | | 1. Don't bother respecting our trails - no one else does - why be the first? Apathy is a virtue here.
2. Nice equipment will get stolen, or break when you're hit by a car. Save your dough and buy a good car alarm.
3. Wear clothes... anything. Just don't pretend you're a racer when you're not.
4. Shuttle vehicle? Oh, ya... ski lift... We've heard of these mythical devices..
5. DO NOT make eye contact with other trail users - especially if they're wearing shiny suits and see-through socks... and carrying a big garbage bag.
6. Body armor looks great over a sleevless jersey, especially when you're at a park with 50' of vert.
7. Bring lots of Bud and Coors Light. Be sure to leave your crumpled cans piled neatly on the side of the trail.
8. Talk trash any chance you get. It really impresses the chicks in the parking lots. They might even invite you back to the trailer.
9. Al trail directions start with the exit ramp #.
10. Get used to seeing trails named Superfund. |
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