|   Hey to all my old friends here. | SJ
Jan 8, 2003 4:12 AM | | Im going thru a divorce and ive been totaly out of it mentaly and physicaly. Looks like i stand to lose everything i own, left w/ a handful of bills, ive lost my car as well due to theft.
Most importantly my stbx has maliciously and vengefuly taken my 2yr old daughter and refuses to let me see her for the last month. Kicked me out of the house after filing and serving papers on me w/ a restraining order. I have two attorneys who doesnt seem to be doing anything to help. I miss my little girls smiles so much i cant hardly take it, im afraid my little girl wont even know me when i do get to see her. My wife has chosen a route that is mentaly harmful to my daughter by alienating me from our child. "hell hath no fury as a woman's scorn" is a understatement.
For all of those out there that pray, put me on the list as im digging deeper than i ever have at any race or any other life event. Theres hope and i refuse to give in but will continue to fight w/ everything left within me for whats just and true for the sake of my princess.
blueskies
alex |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | Radar MCM #35
Jan 8, 2003 5:47 AM | | don't know what to say...while we're on this message board arguing friel vs. charmichael, etc etc, you're going through something MUCH tougher. And yes I do pray so I'll put you on my mental list...great things happen when people refuse to stop fighting for something they really want. Remember that and let us know how it works out...
Radar MCM #35 |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | Kleinadian
Jan 8, 2003 6:41 AM | | Reading that scared me. Best of luck to you and hope you can work things out so you can see your daughter. |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | free-agent
Jan 8, 2003 8:28 AM | | I don't really know you that well other than reading your posts, but I wanted to reply anyway. Stay positive and try not to get involved in that vengeful crap. You will leave the situation knowing that you were the better person. Lastly, your daughter will always know and love her dad no matter what! In the end things will definitely work out for the best-try to focus your energies on that.
peace and take care man |
| One other thing... | free-agent
Jan 8, 2003 8:37 AM | | stop at a bookstore ASAP and pick up a copy of the book "The Art of Happiness." It is written by a Western psychologist after years of discussion/attending lectures with the Dali Lama. He takes problems that we encounter in this culture and explains how to deal/cope with them from the Buddhist perspective. It truly is an excellent resource for life! It changed how I view life and approach life's problems big and small. BTW-you don't have to be Buddhist, or religious in any respect to benefit. It's not a book on converting to Buddhism!! I have a copy and would be willing to borrow/ship it to you if you can't get a copy.
Again-take care man. |
| Bummer... | shawndoggy
Jan 8, 2003 9:49 AM | | SJ, that really bums me out and I hope everything eventually turns around for the best for you. I can't begin to know what you are going through -- honestly I don't know how I'd get through it. So I've got zero advice on the emotional front because I'd probably come unglued.
On the legal front, though, listen to your lawyers and don't do anything dumb. Don't violate that restraining order -- it will most certainly come back to haunt you when the judge decides permanent custody. Even though your life is going through a hurricane, you need to be the model of a guy who plays by the rules and respects authority -- it'll pay dividends for you in the years to come. |
| re: Thanks you all, ride on. where are you Rich P? | sj
Jan 8, 2003 10:35 AM | | nm |
| re: been outa town | rpironcladracer
Jan 9, 2003 1:40 PM | | I am committing to daily prayer for the whole family for a month. You are my brother and I know you'd do it for me in a heartbeat.
Know this: You are still a favored son of God, no matter what the world is telling you. Your favor in God's eyes is not dependent on your actions or how others judge your actions. If it were, we would all be lost forever.
Know this: none of us can say, "SJ screwed up his marriage and I would NEVER do such a thing". None of us is in a position to judge.
Know this: there is NOTHING in this universe that God cannot redeem.
Be strong, brother- the enemy must consider you a formidable opponent to try so hard to bring you down. Or, God is allowing you to go through these struggles so that He can raise you up higher and higher in His future for you. Like training, where we have to suffer to reach a greater level of fitness- the process of our walk with God is sometimes strenuous, sometimes very painful.
I am with you and continue to hold you in the highest esteem. |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | Enzoid
Jan 8, 2003 11:45 AM | | I know we don't know each other, as I have only recently begun visiting this website. But let me tell you that I am totally sympathetic to your plight. I went through much the same thing the past summertime (3 yr old daughter). And it is still going on for me.
It is the most difficult thing you can experience. In my opinion even more difficult than the death of a loved one, because there seems to be no closure. It seems to drag on and on, unfortunately.
My only advice to you it to take it one day at a time, and view this as a process that you can and will get through. If you are a religous person, you can find comfort in that, or your friends and family.
I'm not sure what legal advice I can offer other than you need a real pitbull of an attorney. Don't cave and give her everything. As difficult as it may seem try your best to view this as a business transaction/negotiation. Take heart, judges don't look kindly on people who use the legal system to be vindictive, filing ridiculous motions and retraining orders. These are ploys to make you view the situation as hopeless and designed to try and make you settle with a less than favorable agreement. My ex tried to pull a few stunts and she and her attorney got their wallets hit hard. |
| re: SPARC | sj
Jan 9, 2003 10:27 AM | | Pleasure speaking w/ you Enzoid, thanks for your sincerity and advice based on experience. Heres a website you can still utilize www.deltabravot.net I have been reading everything i can and will be prepared in all aspects when this starts hitting more paper.
semperfidelis |
| Sorry things got worse... | MTBDOC
Jan 8, 2003 5:00 PM | | Last summer you had commented about your problems and I am truly sorry that your situation deteriorated. Rich had told me a bit about you...You and I know Who is in charge. Last year was one of the toughest that I have ever been through (and my new job requirements continue to be very draining!). Several people separately told me to remember that "all things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Perhaps it is my turn to pass this on to you. I will be praying for you. |
| Sorry things got worse... | sj
Jan 9, 2003 10:23 AM | | Thanks brother. Ive turned it over last night, im unable to mentaly bear this pain and burden by myself like i thought i could.
emmetropia2015@yahoo.com |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | Flat top
Jan 9, 2003 4:50 AM | | Go for a nice long ride.
I'll be thinking about your situation this Sunday on my group ride.
I'm sorry this happens to any body.
Barry |
| Here are my thoughts | Motivated
Jan 10, 2003 7:57 AM | | You knowingly and consciously chose to spend time training and racing instead of time with your wife and daughter.
I totally respect your effort as a fellow MTBer, but as a husband and father of 2 girls I just can't read your post without standing up and saying what you did was wrong. I truly wish it had not turned out like this for you. I honeslty thought when your season was over things would improve. Sadly it seems they have gotten much worse. Likely it isn't as simple racing vs. family. Anyway, now your life is going to be screwed up and your marriage and parenthood which were likely a source of power for you on the bike is gone and your riding will likely suffer. Divorce obviously affects your wife and most importantly your daughter, who is totally innocent to all this and to be affected at the age of 2, such a crucial time.
All I can say is I urge you in the strongest possible way to try to make ammends with your wife. Please. |
| totally no experience here, but.... | La Voie
Jan 16, 2003 10:29 AM | | I feel so sorry for you, no-one should have to go through that. Especially not when its messy and not "mutual".
However, the guy above is right, if you chose to sacrifice your realtionship with wife and daughter for your racing, then thats your fault. Take the other advice, be a perfect rule abiding guy, take your lawyers advice, and ride. if you gave up your family to race, you had better become a world class rider, cuz its what you chose.
good luck anyhow.
La Voie |
| re: Hey to all my old friends here. | DoctorJD
Jan 13, 2003 2:02 PM | | The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.
(Ps. 27:1-3) |
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